I’m Back There Again

I’m Back There Again

Watching the film La famille Belier raised responses in me.  The daughter struggling to live with the consequences of her discovery took me back to similar struggles over talking on an extra, and more advanced, English unit at school.
I’m Back There Again

A response to La famille Belier
I’m back there again,

Awkward and nervous and

Trying.

Trying, yes, it was trying,

But trying not to be seen,

Lest the little confidence

Might falter and fall

To pieces.

So I put my name

Upon the list

For the class.

But fright caused flight

And

I never fronted.

I wanted to and lingered

But could not carry myself

To the info meeting.

He:

He came looking

For me

Yes, me.

That teacher was

Wanting 

To know

Why?

Why had I not come?

He still put me on

The list.

And

I did that English class.
Lived all this again, I did,

In the cinema,

On that wet day,

As the daughter

Of La famille Belier

Found her voice.

It frightened her

I felt it

I knew that damn’ed fear!

For it took me back.

She could not attend

Nor could l

Her voice

She could not own

As with I.

But her voice was freed

And took me back

To becoming.

Becoming self.

Becoming free.
Simon C.J. Falk 15 January 2016

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